Ten Annoying People and the Shoes That Would Make Them Tolerable
The Political Guy: He’s got opinions and he’s not afraid to tell you. In fact, every conversation you have with him dovetails into his politics, like getting sucked into a vortex in the middle of a lake. One can only hope he gets a pair of La Sportiva Genius climbing shoes, because you can’t start a political discussion while dangling dozens of feet in the air on a rock climbing wall.
The Selfie Girl: This chick has been late for work a million times, but she’s never late to reply to a Facebook thread. If you want to get her attention, you’d better text because there’s no way she’s looking up from her phone. She’d better wear a pair of CrossFit Nano 8.0’s with flexweave upper and forefoot cushioning midsole. This way, she’ll have a chance of landing on her feet when she finally walks into an open manhole cover.
The Clingy Guy: He won’t stop calling or texting. When will he get the message? Probably some time after he’s handed the restraining order. Maybe if he has a pair of Tiosebon Mesh walking shoes with pigskin insole and MD outsole, his walking will be so comfortable he’ll actually walk away from you.
The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: The angry, hot chick looks amazing in almost any shoe, but her constant drama is a constant turn off. Perhaps with a pair of Speed Limit 98 Rosa platform shoes, she’ll get distracted and go make someone else’s life miserable for a while. Besides, how fast can she chase you in platform heels?
The Mumbler: He’s got something to say, but good luck hearing it. Unless you’ve got the Google translator on your phone turned on, this guy better be holding up a sign if he wants to get a message across. Maybe if he was wearing a pair of Bruno Marc Florence wing tips, he’d have the confidence to speak up with their study construction and affordable price.
The Perpetual Mom: She has kids and won’t stop talking about them. And when they’re not around, she’s happy to mother you and anyone else that comes her way. That’s why she needs a pair of Clarks Breeze Sea sandals with adjustable straps and complete openness. Because if she’s going to be on her feet all day making everyone Mac n’ Cheese, at least she should be comfortable.
The Explainer: Man or woman, this person knows everything and won’t shut up about it. If there’s a task, this person will immediately insert themselves into the mix to prove to everyone how smart they are. What they need are a pair of fuzzy socks from BambooMN. These Animal non-slip socks with their cute and unique designs will distract them long enough so you won’t be annoyed.
Bossy McBosserson: You know that person that constant has to be in charge even when there’s nothing to be in charge of? That’s your friend, Bossy! This friend tyrant needs a pair of Thorogood American Heritage with high quality stitching, just make sure you approve it ahead of time with them.
The Burnout: Whether it’s drugs, booze or just partying, the burnout is always hungover and only half paying attention on their best day. Get them a pair of Champion Gusto’s with breathable mesh and a flat base. That way, they’ll be able to walk in and out of rehab no problem.
The Hermit: You know your friend that never goes anywhere and is constantly talking about their cats? The one whose let their social skills whither so much, they can barely interact with other humans? Get them a pair of Adidas Ultraboost’s with molded heel counter and boost cushioning. Then they won’t be able to resist going outside!